Another victim of LIBERAL OPPRESSION

Poor Eamon Delaney. The gays are demanding rights, when everyone knows that those are only for white heterosexual middle-class men like Eamon Delaney! Really, when I first saw the article I assumed it was a parody of one of those absurd American right-wingers moaning about minorities...

I mean, really:

Increasingly, it seems as if the homosexual community has forgotten that it is the minority

Bloody minorities, looking for special treatment! (NB. In screeds of this sort, 'special treatment' means the rights that everyone else has anyway.)

AS the cliche goes, some of my best friends are gay.

This has to be a joke, surely?

Bisexual? Isn't that reminiscent of the loose Seventies sexual experimentation? How many bisexuals are there? And will the plain people of Ireland be happy with legalising rights for, and spending money on, all of this?

Bisexuals? Do they exist, Ted? Also, bisexuals are apparently very expensive.

Thus gay magazines are full of ads endorsing late-night gyms, sex lines and a freewheeling sexual activity which would be dismissed as sleazy in heterosexual culture.

Did you know that there are no sex lines for heterosexuals, and those which don't exist certainly aren't advertised in magazines that you can buy in Easons, or indeed on cable telly? It's true!

Still, at least someone benefits from all this; Kevin Myers, who for once didn't write the stupidest thing in the Independent this week.