Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Space Toilet!
It's a space toilet! From NPP Zvezda's online catalogue! They're the company who make the space toilets, you see.
I just love that they have an online catalogue, in case someone should want to buy a space toilet.
And then there's, well, this.
They even have a jobs page, though sadly it's in Russian, so it's not clear whether the jobs involve testing the toilet/ejection seat.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The month's peculiar search terms!
Yes, weird stuff which people search for to get to this blog again, I'm afraid.
- Dalek mesh hide operator - I must say, I don't like the sound of this at all. I hope it's not a mesh of those fancy new Daleks which can climb stairs.
- statistics on liars - How dare you, Google.
- +"porn viewer" +nokias - As I've mentioned before (and it's probably how they got here) I really find the whole concept of people viewing porn on mobile phones, presumably while sitting beside me on the Luas, extremely offputting. Ugh.
- 2010 the end of the world - I'm sorry; you're two years early.
- baby otter pet - Awwwww!
- very bad grandma perverted - Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
- odd business ideas - Goat massage. You're welcome.
- steorn - I seem to be an authority on magical mystery imaginary energy devices.
- chopping mushrooms - Take knife. Chop mushrooms. The end.
- dilbert wedding planning strip - I've read every Dilbert strip for the past ten years, thanks to the wonders of RSS, and I'm reasonably certain that doesn't exist.
- esb bill explained - You use electricity. ESB makes up an amount of electricity it imagines you might have used, and bills you for it. Some time later, they have to give you a refund.
- filthy deviant - How dare you, Google.
- godless repulican - Hmm?
- health expenses iphone app - I actually wrote about this. It's absurd.
- heil mary - Again, I wrote about this.
- how to write a real newspaper - Well, how do you write a fake one?
- i cannot pay my electricity bill esb - Well, I'm sorry, I'm not ESB.
- ibm cartoons - Like Dilbert, only with more Lotus Notes, one assumes.
- jan moir bigot of the year - When's the ceremony?
- laziest name - Mr. Slothworth.
- lhc evilmatter - Presumably the business about the mini black holes was just a cover for CERN's efforts to open a portal to Hell.
- lifespan of sponge cake - Infant stage (cakelet, or 'cupcake'): three days. Adolescent stage (muffin): two days. Adult stage (sponge cake): four days. Twilight years (cake Alzheimer's, or 'trifle') three weeks.
- lude not a word - Confirmed.
- may contain traces lupin - Apparently I was not the only one to notice this insanity.
- misleading map of the day - People expect oddly specific websites to exist.
- non-essential oils - Yep, I wrote about this.
- photo of new criminal court building dublin in the fog - Again, weirdly specific.
- python basehttprequesthandler "long polling" - Do not even think of it.
- sauron eye contract lenses - Surely he'd only need one?
- trying twitter, of course - What are these people looking for?!
- typing bad words - How rude!
- ugh!! there must be someone out there for me!!!! - Not with such profligate use of exclamation marks, no. Do people think they're having a conversation with Google?
- wasp in the kitchen - RUN!!!
- what is radioactive waste made out of? - That's a secret. But old cat litter, mostly.
- what is some of the new technology in the keyboard design - Different fonts on the keys, mostly. And, of course, some of them can fly.
- what kind of fonts esb bill - One of those ones used in laser-printed bills which look like teletype output, presumably used to avoid disturbing people when daisychain printers became obsolete 30 years ago.
- women as chattels - Are they looking for human rights history, or just a particularly distasteful porn site?
- zunetastic - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
- cannibalism kosher - No, I wouldn't think so.
- worlds largest penis - You flatter me, Google.
- welcome datacomp - Something that old Mac keyboards say.
- was georege busch's wife blac - No. She was a robot. Only spelt poorly.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The real reason that Flash won't be putting in an appearance on the iPhone or iPad
Just for clarity, I'm not talking, here, about camera flashes or flash memory; I'm talking about Adobe Flash. I know that this is obvious, but spare the tedious jokes about hard disks, please.
There's an interesting article by a Flash developer on the subject here. A quick summary here; many if not most Flash applications are heavily dependent on mouse-over events and/or keyboard events. Neither of these are particularly practical on a touch-screen, and it would be far from trivial to replace either without breaking the iPhone's human interaction model.
The response around the Internet has been interesting. A lot of people are saying, oh, sure, as it stands, most Flash applications won't be usable on a touch screen, but there's nothing stopping people making new Flash applications which are, or revamping the existing applications to be usable. This is true as far as it goes, but really misses the point.
There are a number of speculations as to why Apple is so averse to having Flash on the iPhone. The major ones, besides the UI issue, which has really been neglected, have been that (a) Apple does not want other people distributing media for the iPhone (through Hulu et al), (b) that Flash is a bit crap and slow and crash-y even on desktop platforms, especially non-Windows platforms, and there's no reason to think that Flash for mobile devices will be any better; taking into account the slower processors it will probably be worse, and, (c) that Apple would prefer that people pay for games in the app store than get them for free as Flash movies.
These are easily dealt with. (a) is a bit of a red herring; Apple seems to have made no moves to stop things like BBC iPlayer, and in fact has been pushing HTML5 video, which provides a means of doing this without Flash, very hard. (b) is true enough, and we'll shortly see how Android deals with it; for the purposes of argument, though, let's assume it's a non-issue. (c) sounds quite convincing if you don't think too hard about it, but the facts are that there is no restriction on non-Flash-based games for the iPhone being distributed for free through the App Store, and the App Store is not a big profit centre for Apple, anyway; it serves largely to make the devices more desirable. As does the iTunes store, for that matter; Apple does not make its money on music distribution. If Apple thought that Flash would make the iPhone more desirable, it would allow it. They don't seem to be making any efforts to stop the distribution of iPhone apps made with Flash CS5's iPhone app export function, after all.
Another argument, little investigated, is that even on the desktop, non-game Flash interfaces are almost always clunky and broken. Just look at any Flash-based website; if scrolling, copy-and-pasting, and so on works as one would normally expect in a native application, or indeed in a webapp, you should feel very lucky. Adobe leaves human interface design almost totally up to the developer, which is not actually a great idea; human interface design is extremely difficult and specialised, which is why OS vendors go to so much trouble setting guidelines and providing widgets which force the developer to more or less do the right thing.
On the other hand, there seems to be only one major argument for why Apple should allow Flash. Very few people are willing to claim that Flash is actually a good development platform, even on the desktop. No-one, except for the most rabid Adobe fans, and some deluded Flash developers, thinks that Flash will become a first-class development platform for mobile apps. The argument made is that there is lots of Flash content out there already that people want to use, and so the iPhone should be able to access it. These UI objections, which seem convincing, really fundamentally undermine this argument. This existing content isn't going to be usable anyway, not without a lot of work. And if the work is going to be put in anyway, it might as well be put into making a HTML5 webapp or a native iPhone app, thus avoiding the afore-mentioned downsides of Flash.
We'll have more information soon, of course. By the end of the year, Google Android devices will support Flash, and we'll see what happens then. My prediction is that, when users go to their favourite Flash games and find them to be unusable due to the differing interaction model, they won't blame the developers of the games, and nor will they blame Adobe. They'll blame Google and/or the phone manufacturers. It won't increase demand for the device; quite the reverse. Lots of bad press, no concrete advantage. Is this something that Apple really wants to expose itself to?
It's notable, by the way, that Microsoft's new Windows Mobile OS (the one that really seems amazingly like an iPhone) will not support Flash when it is released late this year. Microsoft says that it is working with Adobe on this. I strongly suspect that Microsoft, which has the advantage of entering late, is just playing for time; by the time the initial Windows Mobile 7 (or whatever we're meant to call it now) comes out, Flash will have been on Android for some time, and Microsoft will just be able to point and say "Given that everyone hates Flash on Google phones, we're not going to bother". This wouldn't be a great surprise; when Microsoft pre-announces a feature, that by no means demonstrates that the feature will actually ship, as we saw with Longhorn/Vista. In the meantime, though, they get good publicity because people currently believe that they want Flash, and it will fall on Google to disillusion them.
There's an interesting article by a Flash developer on the subject here. A quick summary here; many if not most Flash applications are heavily dependent on mouse-over events and/or keyboard events. Neither of these are particularly practical on a touch-screen, and it would be far from trivial to replace either without breaking the iPhone's human interaction model.
The response around the Internet has been interesting. A lot of people are saying, oh, sure, as it stands, most Flash applications won't be usable on a touch screen, but there's nothing stopping people making new Flash applications which are, or revamping the existing applications to be usable. This is true as far as it goes, but really misses the point.
There are a number of speculations as to why Apple is so averse to having Flash on the iPhone. The major ones, besides the UI issue, which has really been neglected, have been that (a) Apple does not want other people distributing media for the iPhone (through Hulu et al), (b) that Flash is a bit crap and slow and crash-y even on desktop platforms, especially non-Windows platforms, and there's no reason to think that Flash for mobile devices will be any better; taking into account the slower processors it will probably be worse, and, (c) that Apple would prefer that people pay for games in the app store than get them for free as Flash movies.
These are easily dealt with. (a) is a bit of a red herring; Apple seems to have made no moves to stop things like BBC iPlayer, and in fact has been pushing HTML5 video, which provides a means of doing this without Flash, very hard. (b) is true enough, and we'll shortly see how Android deals with it; for the purposes of argument, though, let's assume it's a non-issue. (c) sounds quite convincing if you don't think too hard about it, but the facts are that there is no restriction on non-Flash-based games for the iPhone being distributed for free through the App Store, and the App Store is not a big profit centre for Apple, anyway; it serves largely to make the devices more desirable. As does the iTunes store, for that matter; Apple does not make its money on music distribution. If Apple thought that Flash would make the iPhone more desirable, it would allow it. They don't seem to be making any efforts to stop the distribution of iPhone apps made with Flash CS5's iPhone app export function, after all.
Another argument, little investigated, is that even on the desktop, non-game Flash interfaces are almost always clunky and broken. Just look at any Flash-based website; if scrolling, copy-and-pasting, and so on works as one would normally expect in a native application, or indeed in a webapp, you should feel very lucky. Adobe leaves human interface design almost totally up to the developer, which is not actually a great idea; human interface design is extremely difficult and specialised, which is why OS vendors go to so much trouble setting guidelines and providing widgets which force the developer to more or less do the right thing.
On the other hand, there seems to be only one major argument for why Apple should allow Flash. Very few people are willing to claim that Flash is actually a good development platform, even on the desktop. No-one, except for the most rabid Adobe fans, and some deluded Flash developers, thinks that Flash will become a first-class development platform for mobile apps. The argument made is that there is lots of Flash content out there already that people want to use, and so the iPhone should be able to access it. These UI objections, which seem convincing, really fundamentally undermine this argument. This existing content isn't going to be usable anyway, not without a lot of work. And if the work is going to be put in anyway, it might as well be put into making a HTML5 webapp or a native iPhone app, thus avoiding the afore-mentioned downsides of Flash.
We'll have more information soon, of course. By the end of the year, Google Android devices will support Flash, and we'll see what happens then. My prediction is that, when users go to their favourite Flash games and find them to be unusable due to the differing interaction model, they won't blame the developers of the games, and nor will they blame Adobe. They'll blame Google and/or the phone manufacturers. It won't increase demand for the device; quite the reverse. Lots of bad press, no concrete advantage. Is this something that Apple really wants to expose itself to?
It's notable, by the way, that Microsoft's new Windows Mobile OS (the one that really seems amazingly like an iPhone) will not support Flash when it is released late this year. Microsoft says that it is working with Adobe on this. I strongly suspect that Microsoft, which has the advantage of entering late, is just playing for time; by the time the initial Windows Mobile 7 (or whatever we're meant to call it now) comes out, Flash will have been on Android for some time, and Microsoft will just be able to point and say "Given that everyone hates Flash on Google phones, we're not going to bother". This wouldn't be a great surprise; when Microsoft pre-announces a feature, that by no means demonstrates that the feature will actually ship, as we saw with Longhorn/Vista. In the meantime, though, they get good publicity because people currently believe that they want Flash, and it will fall on Google to disillusion them.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The continuing adventures of the EVIL POPE
From the Guardian:
Ugh. In my view, these people need jailing. Of course, since Mussolini gave them their own little fake state to hide in, this is a lot easier said than done. Confining them to the Holy See for the rest of their lives on threat of arrest if they left would be a lot better than nothing, though. Conspiring to cover up serious crimes must surely be illegal?
The Vatican instructed Catholic bishops around the world to cover up cases of sexual abuse or risk being thrown out of the Church.
Ugh. In my view, these people need jailing. Of course, since Mussolini gave them their own little fake state to hide in, this is a lot easier said than done. Confining them to the Holy See for the rest of their lives on threat of arrest if they left would be a lot better than nothing, though. Conspiring to cover up serious crimes must surely be illegal?
Unsuitable farting
From Apple's guide to what sorts of keywords a developer should use for an iPhone app (a puzzle game, in this case):
One wonders why they chose that particular example.
One wonders why they chose that particular example.
Weird BBC advertising
The BBC advertises a radio programme:
Now, ignoring for a moment that what amounts to a broadcast version of the notoriously awful BBC Have Your Say websites is a terrible idea... why, exactly, are they using iPhone application icons to advertise it?
Now, ignoring for a moment that what amounts to a broadcast version of the notoriously awful BBC Have Your Say websites is a terrible idea... why, exactly, are they using iPhone application icons to advertise it?
Pah, experts; who needs them?
The political issue of the day in the UK is that the Tories want to cut spending at all costs, because otherwise the deficit will eat all the kittens, while Brown wants to pump in more money. He is supported in this, it seems, by the majority of economists.
"More importantly". Ah, yes. What would economists know about the economy? BUSINESS LEADERS ARE ALL-KNOWING, LIKE IN THAT AYN RAND BOOK!
Looks like the Tories are falling into the same trap as the US right, then; that is, considering that actually knowing anything about a subject is a liability, and that the man on the street knows better than experts on highly specialised topics. This appeals to our sense of vanity; we personally know better than the silly experts! It is, however, generally total nonsense.
Mr Osborne said: "There are leading economists who support the Conservative position, but more importantly, there are also leading business organisations, top entrepreneurs - people like Richard Branson - who know more about creating jobs than the entire Labour cabinet put together.
"More importantly". Ah, yes. What would economists know about the economy? BUSINESS LEADERS ARE ALL-KNOWING, LIKE IN THAT AYN RAND BOOK!
Looks like the Tories are falling into the same trap as the US right, then; that is, considering that actually knowing anything about a subject is a liability, and that the man on the street knows better than experts on highly specialised topics. This appeals to our sense of vanity; we personally know better than the silly experts! It is, however, generally total nonsense.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Best. iPhone App. Ever.
Meebo's new native iPhone app. Just amazing. The best instant messaging app I've seen yet. Very, very fast, even on my clunky old 3G, and generally nicer-looking and better behaved than Beejive IM, which costs 10 dollars; Meebo is free.
It has taken the coveted fourth place in the bar at the bottom of my iPhone screen (along with Safari, text messages and iPod; I don't really make enough calls to need the phone app there, and I usually use Spotlight to dial, anyway), ousting Beejive.
Of course, as usual, there are some crashes, and they already have vsn. 1.1 in review.
It has taken the coveted fourth place in the bar at the bottom of my iPhone screen (along with Safari, text messages and iPod; I don't really make enough calls to need the phone app there, and I usually use Spotlight to dial, anyway), ousting Beejive.
Of course, as usual, there are some crashes, and they already have vsn. 1.1 in review.
Labels:
instant messaging,
iphone
Interesting iPhone app pricing
iPhone news apps:
Clearly, Sky and Telegraph are hippy liberal commies, while the Guardian is full of hard-nosed capitalists.
Several other news organisations offer iPhone apps, including Sky and the Daily Telegraph - which are free - and the Guardian - which costs £2.39.
Clearly, Sky and Telegraph are hippy liberal commies, while the Guardian is full of hard-nosed capitalists.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
iPhone apps for everything, these days...
The Irish Revenue Service now has an iPhone application! Oh, that sounds useful, you might think; one can do income taxes in the pub! Well, it's just PAYE. Well, that sounds wonderful; one can claim the rental tax credit, or one of the obscure ones involving owning more than eight sheep, or whatever!
Well, actually, it's just for health expenses...
On the plus side, it is free; it would have been rather cheeky of them to charge 79cent for it. And, believe it or not, it looks much nicer than their normal webapp, though that is largely because their normal webapp is actually a terrifying Flash thing written by mad people, of the "let's implement our own scrollbars in Flash" variety. But, really, can you ever imagine anyone ever, ever, ever using this thing? Especially given that you have to log in with your PPS and PAYE pin, and let's face it, no-one is ever going to remember either while on the move.
Sadly, it seems to be their only app at the moment; I was hoping for a whole array of apps for declaring rental income in Spain, claiming tax off photocopiers, and so forth.
I actually installed it to have a look, but sadly I have no medical expenses to claim, and I am not sufficiently keen to review it that I'd go and break an arm for the purpose, or anything. I do note, though, that they have gone to the trouble of making their own custom UIListView cells for it, and there is a little PAYE Anytime logo in the top right where the Edit button is meant to go; just a logo, not a button, which is probably against the Human Interface Guidelines. All in all, though, it is actually quite nice, much better than the afore-mentioned Flash thing.
However, the 'Support' link goes to the normal PAYE Anytime site, with not a mention of the iPhone app. How did this get approved? Apple must be getting soft.
Well, actually, it's just for health expenses...
On the plus side, it is free; it would have been rather cheeky of them to charge 79cent for it. And, believe it or not, it looks much nicer than their normal webapp, though that is largely because their normal webapp is actually a terrifying Flash thing written by mad people, of the "let's implement our own scrollbars in Flash" variety. But, really, can you ever imagine anyone ever, ever, ever using this thing? Especially given that you have to log in with your PPS and PAYE pin, and let's face it, no-one is ever going to remember either while on the move.
Sadly, it seems to be their only app at the moment; I was hoping for a whole array of apps for declaring rental income in Spain, claiming tax off photocopiers, and so forth.
I actually installed it to have a look, but sadly I have no medical expenses to claim, and I am not sufficiently keen to review it that I'd go and break an arm for the purpose, or anything. I do note, though, that they have gone to the trouble of making their own custom UIListView cells for it, and there is a little PAYE Anytime logo in the top right where the Edit button is meant to go; just a logo, not a button, which is probably against the Human Interface Guidelines. All in all, though, it is actually quite nice, much better than the afore-mentioned Flash thing.
However, the 'Support' link goes to the normal PAYE Anytime site, with not a mention of the iPhone app. How did this get approved? Apple must be getting soft.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Twitter and Buzz!
So, Google has released a thing called Buzz, which is much like Twitter except it randomly intrudes into your email.
Next step?
Microsoft Bullfrog. Simply touch a button, click a little menu that looks like something from MacOS in the early 80s with your stylus, and every Windows Mobile phone within ten miles makes a loud disagreeable noise!
Which isn't terribly impressive, really; maybe if you did it while standing in the middle of a Microsoft campus you'd get one or two...
Next step?
Microsoft Bullfrog. Simply touch a button, click a little menu that looks like something from MacOS in the early 80s with your stylus, and every Windows Mobile phone within ten miles makes a loud disagreeable noise!
Which isn't terribly impressive, really; maybe if you did it while standing in the middle of a Microsoft campus you'd get one or two...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Retro browsing
Internet Explorer 5.2.3, running on Snow Leopard, through Rosetta. When I installed it, it tried to make itself my default browser! Eek!
Goodness, browsers were crap, back in the day.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Quick iPhone debugging tip
Using gdb while debugging an iPhone application, you might, while trying to dereference self (a method's reference to its instance) come upon the following lovely error:
This is because the optimiser is eating self. Surprisingly, iPhone SDK debug builds by default use the -Os optimisation level. It's easily fixed; just right-click and click Get Info on the project, go to build settings, and search for 'optimize'. Set it to no optimization.
So, easy enough to fix, but a little bit unexpected...
"no symbol 'self' in current context"
This is because the optimiser is eating self. Surprisingly, iPhone SDK debug builds by default use the -Os optimisation level. It's easily fixed; just right-click and click Get Info on the project, go to build settings, and search for 'optimize'. Set it to no optimization.
So, easy enough to fix, but a little bit unexpected...
Odd iPhone issue
So, yesterday my iPhone stopped vibrating. Still dead this morning. I was upgrading to 3.1.3 anyway; I'm writing an application for the iPhone, and they prefer that you test on the latest version. So, I did that. Full reboot with the operating system update... No vibrate. Just now... it vibrated, and now the vibration seems to be working again normally.
The strangest thing; exactly the same thing happened about six months ago. I can't figure out if it's an intermittent hardware fault, or some bizarre software thing.
The strangest thing; exactly the same thing happened about six months ago. I can't figure out if it's an intermittent hardware fault, or some bizarre software thing.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Apple, just on time!
So, last night I renewed my iPhone developer programme membership; I'm in the progress of putting together an iPhone application in my spare time, so would like to be able to publish it. Might take a look at the fancy new NDA-ridden iPad SDK, too. Anyway, the Apple website said it would take up to 24 hours.
My re-activation code just showed up by email half an hour ago; that is, 23 hours and 30 minutes after I renewed. Cutting it fine, Apple...
The registration process, by the way, is a strange, needlessly-convoluted thing. The membership appears in your purchased items as a software download with no actual download attached, and you are emailed to say it has been delivered. Then, some hours after you get an email from Apple with your actual activation code. A quick Google shows that I'm not the only person a little puzzled by this.
My re-activation code just showed up by email half an hour ago; that is, 23 hours and 30 minutes after I renewed. Cutting it fine, Apple...
The registration process, by the way, is a strange, needlessly-convoluted thing. The membership appears in your purchased items as a software download with no actual download attached, and you are emailed to say it has been delivered. Then, some hours after you get an email from Apple with your actual activation code. A quick Google shows that I'm not the only person a little puzzled by this.
Facebook advertising gets creepily targeted
Facebook knows that I am not just a homosexual, but a rather nerdy, lonely homosexual, it seems.
(Edit: No, I didn't click on any of them...)
Labels:
advertising,
facebook,
random
Well-known Adobe blogger person is less than perfectly complimentary about Flash!
I'm pretty sure that this is the web-design equivalent of Khrushchev's Secret Speech.
Expect an imminent rising in whatever the Adobe equivalent of Georgia is; probably Shockwave Director, or something.
Expect an imminent rising in whatever the Adobe equivalent of Georgia is; probably Shockwave Director, or something.
Unspeakable horrors
A Google ad, seen in my GMail:
They're giving away 500 euro worth of hair! I wonder how much that is; half a tonne? Does hair have a market value? What's it used for?
Probably best not ask, really.
They're giving away 500 euro worth of hair! I wonder how much that is; half a tonne? Does hair have a market value? What's it used for?
Probably best not ask, really.
History, through blogs
John Gruber writing in 2006:
(Emphasis mine.)
Ahahaha. And yet, at the time, it must have seemed reasonable enough.
Won't it be interesting for people two or three centuries down the line, looking back through creaky Blogger archives at the opinions of the inhabitants of the early 21st century? Assuming that someone manages to preserve it, for the first time historians will have the testimony and opinions of millions of people from the era under consideration, not just about operating system wars, but about the important stuff...
Let’s say that Microsoft puts together a miraculous fourth-quarter comeback and that Windows Vista rocks. Not just rocks compared to the way it currently appears as though Vista is actually going to turn out, but rocks, period. As in looks better than Mac OS X. More elegant than Mac OS X. Noticeably faster and snappier than Mac OS X. (That one’s actually quite likely.)
(Emphasis mine.)
Ahahaha. And yet, at the time, it must have seemed reasonable enough.
Won't it be interesting for people two or three centuries down the line, looking back through creaky Blogger archives at the opinions of the inhabitants of the early 21st century? Assuming that someone manages to preserve it, for the first time historians will have the testimony and opinions of millions of people from the era under consideration, not just about operating system wars, but about the important stuff...
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