The month's peculiar search terms!

Yes, weird stuff which people search for to get to this blog again, I'm afraid.

• Dalek mesh hide operator - I must say, I don't like the sound of this at all. I hope it's not a mesh of those fancy new Daleks which can climb stairs.
• statistics on liars - How dare you, Google.
• +"porn viewer" +nokias - As I've mentioned before (and it's probably how they got here) I really find the whole concept of people viewing porn on mobile phones, presumably while sitting beside me on the Luas, extremely offputting. Ugh.
• 2010 the end of the world - I'm sorry; you're two years early.
• baby otter pet - Awwwww!
• very bad grandma perverted - Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
• odd business ideas - Goat massage. You're welcome.
• steorn - I seem to be an authority on magical mystery imaginary energy devices.
• chopping mushrooms - Take knife. Chop mushrooms. The end.
• dilbert wedding planning strip - I've read every Dilbert strip for the past ten years, thanks to the wonders of RSS, and I'm reasonably certain that doesn't exist.
• esb bill explained - You use electricity. ESB makes up an amount of electricity it imagines you might have used, and bills you for it. Some time later, they have to give you a refund.
• filthy deviant - How dare you, Google.
• godless repulican - Hmm?
• health expenses iphone app - I actually wrote about this. It's absurd.
• heil mary - Again, I wrote about this.
• how to write a real newspaper - Well, how do you write a fake one?
• i cannot pay my electricity bill esb - Well, I'm sorry, I'm not ESB.
• ibm cartoons - Like Dilbert, only with more Lotus Notes, one assumes.
• jan moir bigot of the year - When's the ceremony?
• laziest name - Mr. Slothworth.
• lhc evilmatter - Presumably  the business about the mini black holes was just a cover for CERN's efforts to open a portal to Hell.
• lifespan of sponge cake - Infant stage (cakelet, or 'cupcake'): three days. Adolescent stage (muffin): two days. Adult stage (sponge cake): four days. Twilight years (cake Alzheimer's, or 'trifle') three weeks.
• lude not a word - Confirmed.
• may contain traces lupin - Apparently I was not the only one to notice this insanity.
• misleading map of the day - People expect oddly specific websites to exist.
• non-essential oils - Yep, I wrote about this.
• photo of new criminal court building dublin in the fog - Again, weirdly specific.
• python basehttprequesthandler "long polling" - Do not even think of it.
• sauron eye contract lenses - Surely he'd only need one?
• trying twitter, of course - What are these people looking for?!
• typing bad words - How rude!
• ugh!! there must be someone out there for me!!!! - Not with such profligate use of exclamation marks, no. Do people think they're having a conversation with Google?
• wasp in the kitchen - RUN!!!
• what is radioactive waste made out of? - That's a secret. But old cat litter, mostly.
• what is some of the new technology in the keyboard design - Different fonts on the keys, mostly. And, of course, some of them can fly.
• what kind of fonts esb bill - One of those ones used in laser-printed bills which look like teletype output, presumably used to avoid disturbing people when daisychain printers became obsolete 30 years ago.
• women as chattels - Are they looking for human rights history, or just a particularly distasteful porn site?
• zunetastic - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
• cannibalism kosher - No, I wouldn't think so.
• worlds largest penis - You flatter me, Google.
• welcome datacomp - Something that old Mac keyboards say.
• was georege busch's wife blac - No. She was a robot. Only spelt poorly.