But before that, an aside. In 2004, I was trying to track down a song with the lyrics "Oh, Mary, why don't you have some sense", with limited success. The song, in case you are interested, turns out to be called "Mary" by The Four of Us, an Irish band.
In 2009, I was reading a fun little feature Wonkette, a politics blog, is doing called the Comics Curmudgeon, which involves making fun of editorial comics. The author of the column, it turns out, has a blog, also called the Comics Curmudgeon, where he makes fun of non-editorial comics. So, it was all great fun, and I was reading some of his old posts... and came upon this. From the post:
Speaking of sullied, here’s some strange and alarming search terms for you: “dilbert wedding planning strip,” “baby moses taking bath cartoon,” “oh mary why don’t you have some sense,” “trainwreck drug lingo,” and (no kidding) “how to make crystal meth.” Well, see, first you get a brown paper bag…
That was me! I got to his blog in 2004, by searching for that bloody song, then forgot about it and came upon the evidence many years later! Amazing, this Internet thing.
Anyway, on to the search terms.
rsynnott cunt - How rude. Bizarrely, someone had searched for this multiple times. Well, I haven't got one.
common lisp -xah -newlisp -harrop -clojure -ruby - A bit of explanation called for, I feel. NewLISP is a terrible faux-lisp. Clojure is a quite nice pseudo-lisp for the JVM. Ruby is not lisp, but people occasionally believe it to be lisp because it has anonymous functions, which clearly no language except for lisp and just about every other language higher-level than C has had, ever. Harrop seems to be an Australian engineering company. Xah is Xah Lee, an irritating person who trolls comp.lang.lisp, going on incessantly about Mathematica and keyboard layouts. He has this weird website, with thousands of pages more on Mathematica and keyboard layouts, his bizarre misogynistic and political views, and pictures of himself. Including naked pictures. Involving a piano. See, I may be a little unusual, but at least I don't go on about Dvorak or post pictures of my dick on a piano. Anyway, yes, if you want a website about common lisp but without any of those people or things, this one still would not be a terribly good choice.
steorn - Beloved Irish vendors of imaginary energy.
surplus blogs - Again, how very dare you.
"the sexiest whales" - Narwhals. Phallic symbolism, you see. No, really, this is something I actually mentioned ; it was a BBC article with a stupid title.
horrible puns - You've come to the right plaice! (See, there's a pun. Two if you're filthy-minded.)
"dueling is making a comeback" - Somebody left this in a comment. Rather wonderful, no?
"why do they" leave "computer programmer" "boring as well" - Yet again, cheek of you.
+clsql +auto_increment - Yay! I have an article on this! I actually helped somebody!
atheist bus downfall - If a bus is falling on me, I care little about its religious convictions.
bald or bitch of mistress "female barber" - Pervert.
bear making supplier - Pervert.
colossal mp3 player with buttons -
facebook for sex - Pervert. Anyway, the friend newsfeeds would be horrifying.
frat leash - Pervert.
good things about the credit crunch - Provides fodder for blog posts about inane search terms.
hemingway urinal - Pervert. Ewh.
george bush wife - Pervert. I mean, she'd have to be, to marry him.
howrse codes for january - Howrse is a bizarre online game which I mentioned once. It involves breeding horses. It is terrifying.
lidl scientology - Half-price, for the month of March! (Lidl is a supermarket which runs special offers on weird things.)
nude youtube - You don't want to see me nude, I promise you.
ron paul bnp - No, I don't think so. Hell of a conspiracy theory, though.
sysco - A maker of terrifying food products.
the guardian and atheism newspaper - Formed when the Guardian newspaper merged with the abstract concept of atheism. See also: The Daily Mail and Fascism Newspaper.
youtube military haircutting - Pervert.
blunder "pope test" - Sounds intriguing.
clisp menorah - I was thinking that this was just another search absurdity and was about to say 'pervert', but actually the open source Common Lisp implementation clisp does have a menorah on startup. It gives rise to wacky conspiracy theories.
stuff tht are over 1000 dollars - Houses. The stimulus plan. Very large fax machines.
most popular spicy finger food in Tesco - No idea.
most popular spicy finger food in Lidl - I'm sensing a trend, but Lidl don't do spicy food; they are German.
duck sex - Ah, pervert. Good old perverts. Did you know that a duck is one of very few birds with a penis?
arrington dark walnut coffee table - Michael Arrington is an annoying person who writes about Web 2.0 and insults Europeans. It is entirely possible that he possesses such a coffee table, but the relevance escapes me.
bobby synnott omaha - This is not the blog you are looking for. Thank god. I mean, Omaha.
gay online mario - Pervert.
horse magazines - Pervert.
organic apple shortage - Damn. I don't care for those PVC apples.
what places in athlone sells betty boop - Pervert. And don't think for one moment that I'm going to be a party to human trafficking of imaginary 30s sex symbols.
Someone once mentioned Jenny Agata in a comment on my blog and now that the most searched item that brings people to me. I don't even know who she is. Anyways it's time to pass the baton :-)
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