Monday, November 26, 2007

This month's search terms

As is occasionally my habit, I'm going to give you a few of the more interesting search terms which have brought people to this blog in the past month. People do search for the most absurd things!

  • escortireland - An absurd prostitute-rating site I made fun of years ago.
  • how to annoy people - Well, this blog is rather annoying, I suppose. Not sure how Google knew, though...
  • zoho - A purveyor of awful webapps that I mentioned recently.
  • blake southwood - An improbable entrepreneur.
  • bilingual blog - Mais non!
  • bigboobs - I'm afraid that I would rather disappoint.
  • irish dirt - Eh?
  • robert - I'm competing with Scoble, now!
  • clothes sizes - But I'm not competing with him on these, thank God.
  • ugly people - How very dare you, Google!
  • ace internet marketing - Oh, yes, them. Lovely people, altogether.
  • assembly area for evacuation by train - This rather inexplicable sign, I suppose...
  • herons eat uk - Well, they eat ducklings, certainly. You'd need a rather larger heron for that, I suspect...
  • "parent directory" porn -xxx -html -htm -php - I'm sure they were VERY disappointed.
  • pussy leash - For all your cat restraint needs! At least I hope that that's what they were looking for.
  • 12 inch blowjob - Eek!
  • blowjob pointers - void *mouth, *penis, *gagReflex. You're welcome.
  • chicken flavoured ice-cream - Sometimes, the Internet scares me. I do NOT want these poultry ice-cream enthusiasts visiting.
  • crazy boys - I suppose one could say that I was an example of the genre.
  • crystal ducks - Amazingly enough, I HAVE mentioned this one.
  • datacomp keyboard - And this.
  • digraphs and trigraphs - If you don't know, you don't want to know.
  • dirty gay old men - I'm not THAT bloody old!
  • elmo ornaments - I don't want to even think about this person's interior decor.
  • freemason madeleine mccann - I think you have to be male to be one.
  • genital enlargement - Right.
  • hentai naruto - Some sort of horrible Japanese thing, I suspect.
  • homeporn - Sorry, but no.
  • homeopathology - This man died because he didn't have enough over-priced water!
  • horrible food archives - Try McDonald's.
  • how do I set the "dirty bit"? - I can only hope they are asking in an IT context...
  • hunchentoot dreamhost - Don't bet on it.
  • hunchentoot vista - Don't even think about it!
  • impropable - Me spell good!
  • inter racial toons - Ewh.
  • is ratzinger gay - Well, he shops at Prada...
  • klix vending machines hacks - Why would you want to hack one? They're awful.
  • medically approved genital enlargement appliances - I probably shouldn't tell you this, but, what the heck... toasters.
  • naughty bank - And if you buy a toaster with a credit card from this bank, you get a discount!
  • naming leaves - Right, I know I'm boring, but there are LIMITS, okay?
  • nsfw gallery - I just love how it's become a euphemism for 'porn'.
  • odd job titles - I mentioned a while ago that various fast-food companies torture their employees with these.
  • pictures of businessmen working - Kinky!
  • sex in public toilets - No, thank you.
  • strange porn - I think we've already covered that.
  • the principle behind orthodontics - Vanity.
There. I hope that that has answered all your questions for the month, Mr. Internet.


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