post-valentines-day-post-hesi

Post-Valentine's Day Post (Hesitation, repetition and deviation)

Hmm, I'm feeling a bit down. I am, of course, single, and without any prospects of being non-single. I'm also feeling sick.

Last week, as I've mentioned before, was TCD SU Rainbow Week. Which meant lots of going out with other gay people and watching said other gay people get off with one another. Which was a bit of a downer. As I have mentioned many, many times, I'm not the best looking, but even a number of, in my opinion, remarkably ugly people, uglier even than myself, got with attractive people. My personality is also not that wonderful, but it's not that bad; I do, mostly, get on with people. So what am I doing wrong? I'm not quite sure. I'm quite shy, obviously, and would never approach anyone, but I never get approached either...

Except, and this is quite funny, on Monday, we went to a gay night somewhere. One of the people who went I'd never met before. He was nice, and quite good-looking, and sorta coming on to me, I think. Which was odd, and certainly not something I'm used to. Anyway, at some point he got up to get a drink or something, and an old person comes over. When I say old, I mean it in a relative sense; he was 30 or so. (I'm 20). Now, I really have no interest in people over say 25, which is a shame, as 30 year olds seem to love me. This one had somehow picked up on us being students, so asked what I did. I answered computer science, which is by way of being the truth. And then, while putting his hand on my knee, he started going on about his German version of Windows XP. As chatup lines go, German versions of Windows XP rate low. I removed his hand (from my knee, not his body) and made not-comittal muttery answers. At that point, the other guy came back; mr 30 year old dove on him, and to cut a long story short, ended up going home with him. Grr.

Then there was another computer-related chatup line on Wednesday. Again from someone far too old, naturally; people my age are never interested. This one was so bad I seem to have blocked it out. Finally, on Thursday, a really old guy (50+) was offended when I rejected him out of hand when he came up making improper suggestions, and started giving out to me. People are strange.

Really quite surreal moment on Friday where a guy seemed vaguely to like me. The problem is, on the rare occasion that that happens, I never know quite what to do...

So, slightly down after that, and feeling quite rejected.

On the plus side, went to Stephen's 21st on Saturday, which was fun :)